? in Life

If you have noticed from my various blog entries, I seemed to have a peculiar interest towards death.  Recently I have been reading on biographies of professionals who shared their remaining days living after learning of their terminal illness.  I used to think if I should die one day, I would rather it be a quick death - like a heart attack - and not some terminal disease. 

Through their perspectives, I saw my selfish side.  I had thought that it would be easier for my love ones to move on without me.  However, I missed the fact that they will be moving on without my support, without any emotional and mental preparation and with emotional baggage that has yet to be addressed. 

"I was blessed. I was told I had three months to live." - Eugene O'Kelly.  These men (authors whose books I read) in their remaining days felt that they are blessed that they were forewarned and given ample time to prepare themselves and their family for death.  From their perspectives, they were given time to help their love ones cope with life after death and to fulfill their dreams. 

Most, or lets say some, people usually prepare a substantial amount of money, as advised by their financial advisors, for their love ones in the event of any mishap.  However, there are some things that money can't buy (ignoring cries for exceptions).  I learnt from these authors that there are emotional aspects that need to be addressed.  "If you cover the premiums on your emotion insurance now, while you are feeling OK, there will be less weighing on you in the months ahead - more at peace."   I was taken aback when I read the paragraph.  It is simple and maybe common sense to many, yet this perspective is really new to me. 

God has his time and unique ways in delivering his teachings.  Some may claimed, like book "the Secret", that it was the Law of Attraction (I still wonder why my parents have yet to win TOTO since they have been faithfully "attracting" the Big Prize throughout their lives).  But, from my perspective, I felt and thought it was too much of a coincidence to the matter, that each event was sequentially planned for me.   

After I finished my read on the biographies, an overseas friend, a good friend of mine, messaged me via msn.  She shared with me that her mum was diagnosed with Cancer a few days ago and will be going for an operation in a few days time.  I knew her family as I have visited them when I was there, and I can imagine the worry and ordeal they are going through, as they are a very closely knitted family.  It is easy for me to tell her to be strong and be there for her father, but when one is going through such a phase, it is a complete different emotional roller coaster.

The day after, a colleague shared with me about his friend, who is very successful in life under today's context.  The friend, now 30, who holds a high position in a financial institution, owns a high-end condo in town, and drives a big continental car at the age of 28, had been diagnosed with stage 3 Cancer a week ago.  Since then, the friend had sold the condo and moved back to the parents' home. 

The Lord had showed me that money can’t buy life.  One can buy organs, engaged the best doctors, tons of oxygen tanks, but when the ripper comes, what we leave behind is the period between the day we are born and the day we return.  A quote or a cliche from R.Pausch (he loves cliché), “most often the things we regret in life are not the things we had done but rather the things that we had not.”  As Steve Covey wrote in one of his many books, no one, if not few, would be worried about his / her work during the last days of life. 

Have we been focused on building our careers and wealth and neglect the time to tell and show our love ones that we loved them?  Has fear, disappointment and weariness curbed our potential?  Have we been overly concerned about how people perceived us that caused us to forgo our dreams?  Will I be lying on my bed asking the ripper what if I had … what would my life be?